The Diary

27 October 2003: Post-Millmoor Musings

Greetings, once more. At least all the Diwali fireworks have finally died down; on our return from Rotherham last night, the whole area looked and sounded like Baghdad at the height of the American bombing, and as for my four moggies, they most definitely weren?t ? erm ? amewsed. I don?t have a problem with Bonfire Night per se, but the bloody pyrotechnics associated with it and other festivals seem to be going non-stop these days, New Year?s Eve included, and it simply isn?t on. Not so long back, I even heard explosions at the godawful hour of three in the morning, and it?s not as if these things are penny-bangers any more, some are virtually small bombs. The sooner some legislation to stop the nuisance goes through Parliament, the better, as far as I?m concerned.

Ooooh, that?s better; nothing like a mini-rant to ginger things up a bit, so I?ll now proceed to the next item on the agenda, which concerns the flotsam and jetsam of yesterday?s game. Firstly, I?ve now had a mystery solved for me. At the commencement of the second half, there was some alarm in our section of the away end when we saw both stewards and police charging into a group of Baggies seated nearest the far corner-flag. Not that we could properly suss out what had happened, of course; in any case, within a few minutes of the incident, Rob Hulse then scored his second, which completely banished any questioning thoughts from my mind for the present.

Until today, that is, when I had a glimpse of an email from another travelling Baggie, who opined that the whole thing was caused, not by our lot indulging in wholesale slaughter and mayhem (at Rotherham? More chance of the Second Coming!), but simply because the club wanted one of their practice match-balls back. It appears that one of our contingent managed to ?win? one accidentally kicked into the crowd pre-match, and it was never returned, so come the interval, their stewards then attempted to retrieve it, the guy in possession refused to give the blasted thing up, so the whole incident then turned ugly. Legally, Rotherham were dead right, of course. The definition of theft is to ?permanently deprive? the owner of their goods, which certainly seemed to apply in this case, but I do feel a good dose of ?sense of humour replacement-therapy? might have gone a long way towards achieving a much more satisfactory resolution than by going in mob-handed.

We now turn to what our leader had to say about yesterday?s victory, and those who sailed in it. One remark of his centred around reactions to that shock Wimbledon win last Tuesday night. ?I felt the aftermath of what was undoubtedly a poor result on Tuesday was way over the top,? he said. Additionally, Gary gave due credit for yesterday?s triumph to the way Greegs, Gaardsoe and Gilly performed at the back, and quite right, too, and he also singled out Hughsie and AJ for special praise. Let?s deal with the first part of Gary?s thoughts first. I don?t know about you, but I thought that both players and management were dead lucky in getting away with not being barracked until the end of the game. In any case, my suspicions were that most of the abuse was directed not at those on the pitch, but in the direction of the man whose post-match remarks I?m reporting tonight. Remember the sign US President Harry Truman had displayed on his desk during the late 1940?s? That?s right: THE BUCK STOPS HERE, and there?s never been a truer word spoken when it comes to assigning culpability for what went wrong during Tuesday night?s game.

Gary was handed a pretty nifty ?get out of jail card? with yesterday?s win, consequently, for the time being, at least, all meaningful criticism has now been deflected. However, it remains to be seen as to whether he?ll consider the adoption of more positive tactics in the weeks and months to come. As The Noise remarked so pertinently yesterday, his ability to evolve his managerial style in accordance with changed circumstances is now in question, and not just by a minority, either. One-dimensional managers eventually get found out, and they rarely, if ever, leave a lasting legacy to football via The Hall Of Managerial Fame. A slow drift out of the game?s upper reaches to anonymous mediocrity is their usual fate. Until now, there?s been ample cause for suspecting Meggo to be of this ilk, but I?d dearly like him to prove me wrong. Can we now use yesterday?s win as a platform for the abolition of negative and boring game-plans? Can Meggo cast aside the habits of a lifetime, and by doing so, bring back some entertaining fare to The Shrine again? Will we cease making fear of failure part of our tactics, and start making games FUN once more? Can we now let our more creative players off the leash and allow them to express themselves more fully? Go on, Gary, you know you want to.

It?s not that often I see fit to agree with our leader these days, but as far as his complimentary words about our defenders, and the AJ/Hughsie combo are concerned, I can only say, in true Parliamentary style, ?hear, hear?. At the back, that opening spell apart, we coped very well overall; Rotherham?s limitations were on a par with those of Gillingham?s a couple of weeks ago, the crucial difference was The Millers seemed much more willing and able to resist our advances (ooer, missus!). As far as Hughsie and AJ were concerned, I reckon their dual-presence was instrumental in securing those three points. Our bald-headed goal-demon, unlucky not to score, ran himself into the ground for the cause, and as for our hirsute midfielder, for most of the game, he seemed the Albion equivalent of a newly opened bottle of champagne. Bubbly, bright, a real live-wire in that engine-room, and just like that expensively-alcoholic beverage, he certainly gave Rotherham a blinding headache for most of the game! Perhaps it?s no coincidence that our most recent wobbly spell came at the precise time he was out for that three-match suspension?

At least it now seems we can still our beating hearts over nagging worries that Jason Koumas might not be fully-fit for the novocastrian fray come Wednesday. Towards the end of the game, just as all four Dick Eds were contemplating as to whether Meggo would take him off or not, he went and got himself injured anyway, courtesy of one of Rotherham?s prize clog-dancers. According to Gary, the problem isn?t a hamstring, as we all first thought, but the result of our midfield genius simply ricking his ankle. Having done the same thing to myself on several occasions, I can only say ?Ouch!? in a very sympathetic fashion, but I speak from personal experience when I say the pain and stiffness do disappear very quickly. He does have what?s termed a ?tight hamstring? though ? is that ?tight?, as per our treasurer?s living proof of the meaning of the word, I wonder? ? and hadn?t trained for two or three days, so Meggo took him off as a precautionary measure, more than anything. Let?s hope he?s right!

A word, now, about one of our most ardent supporters, Andy Bridge. Some of you have probably encountered him both at The Shrine and at away games, as he?s an ever-present, and, as far as I know, has been ever since Adam was a lad. About my height, slightly younger than me, balding, glasses, and being an avid devotee of the old ?coffin-nails?, Andy can, if you?re very unlucky, produce more smoke than an attacking World War Two destroyer. He?s also a member of Sutton SC Branch where, unsurprisingly, you?ll also find him enveloped in a nicotine-inspired haze. Those of you who work in Brum might well have come across him without knowing, for Andy, bless his numerous nub-ends, has an ?Evening Mail? selling pitch in the city centre, and is therefore much in demand for reading-matter come knocking-off time. Matches are a bit of a ?busman?s holiday? for him, really; instead of bawling his lungs out to sell newspapers, in his leisure hours, he bawls his lungs out to roar on our finest for a change. Why am I mentioning him now? Simple; the lad has just gained access to both the internet and this column, and before yesterday?s game, he quietly asked me for a mention, so, ever-willing to oblige, I?ve done just that!

And that?s my lot. I?m having tomorrow evening off (unless something drastic happens, of course), but I?ll be back with my usual pre-match preview on Tuesday night. Until then, hang loose.

And finally?.. One. During our per-match sojourn in The Butcher?s Arms yesterday, I suddenly realised I needed to ?powder my nose?, and so did The Noise. Away I went, through the door leading to ?the facilities?, and so did Martin, and, of course, we then headed for our respective ?smallest rooms?. Once there, I quickly came to realise just how far our co-editor?s voice penetrates, because there I was, sitting on the throne, when the strains of a familiar tone came to penetrate both the dividing wall, and my excretory thoughts. It seems a Rotherham supporter was his chosen ?victim? this time; the loudly-expressed phrase in question was, ?We don?t do results, we do performances!?

Two. Ooh, what a little tease The Noise?s missus is! After yesterday?s game, ?Im Indoors was sweating on the final score of Hereford?s FA Cup 4th Qualifying Round tie versus Harrow, and as Radio Five seemed somewhat reluctant to impart this news to my other half, hubby enlisted the assistance of our voluble co-editor instead. A few presses of the buttons on his mobile later, and The Noise quickly had his equally-voluble partner chattering nine to the dozen in his lughole. The preliminaries done with, the conversation (much-abridged version!) then ran something like this:

The Noise:? Hello, duck. Simon wants to know how Hereford have done?..?

(Pulling a face) ?Not very well? They?ve lost??

(A shocked hubby nearly crashes Dickmobile into central reservation!)

The Noise: ?They haven?t lost ? you?re just winding him up? They?ve won, then? Right ? who have they got in the next round? I?ve got to guess??.?

(Hubby then starts chewing steering wheel in his anxiety to know Hereford?s fate!)

The Noise: ?It?s not a big side? Oh ? it IS a big side! (By now, getting as browned off with the guessing-game as my other half) ? is it a Third Division side? It is? Come on, $%&!ing hell, who is it, then??

And thus it came to pass that my overwrought partner finally discovered The Bulls were to play Posh in the First Round, and they have the worst home record in the entire League! As for Jayne, I can only hope her ears weren?t burning afterwards!

 - Glynis Wright

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