The Diary

25 August 2006: Nicholson, Carter, Greening Make Their Mark As Baggies Put Three Past The 'O's'

Were you watching, Coventry, so recently dumped out of the League Cup in somewhat embarrassing fashion by a rampant Hereford United side, and Wolves, penalty-shoot-out casualties of their own tie with Chesterfield just 24 hours later? What a workmanlike Albion victory I saw on the box tonight, might I say, and in complete and utter contrast to the amateurish flounderings of the aforementioned Championship sides, just two among about a dozen of similar status so unceremoniously bundled out of the competition by the League?s lesser-lights thus far.

Some, no doubt, had fielded weakened sides for these encounters, but you certainly couldn?t have said that was the case when both Coventry and Wulves took to the field of play; I know, from personal experience (because I was actually at the game) that The Bulls had faced a Coventry side featuring pretty well all of their regular players, which made what happened to The Sky Blues even more blush-making for their followers. As for the Dingles, their starting line-up didn?t look too far short of normality either ? just how do you properly define ?normal? when talking about the Dingles, I wonder? ? so they, too, thoroughly deserved their lumps.

The strange thing about tonight?s game, though, was the fact that we too had taken the opportunity of resting players ? and so had Orient, it would seem! A tad worrying, that ? just how much homework had they done regarding the strengths and weaknesses of out finest? No less than six changes for us in all, mind, youngsters Nicholson and McShane coming in for a taste of first-team footie ? amazing to think that just three days before tonight?s game, young Nicholson had played for the reserves versus Huddersfield, scoring a very fine goal very early on, might I say (for details, see my previous post). Other Baggies getting their first chance for a while to shine were Darren Carter, Richard Chaplow and Martin Albrechtsen. Oh ? and new signing Kevin Phillips also got an early chance to show what he was made of.

No time for further speculation, though, off we jolly well went, and with the sound of enthusing itinerant Baggies coming through loud and clear via the modern-day miracle of satellite technology, too. And another vagrant thought ? since the last time I?d visited for a game, the place had changed quite a bit. Gone was one end of the ground, now occupied by what appeared to be a block of yuppie flats, their occupants getting a buckshee free view of the game from their balconies, conveniently overhanging one of the ?ends?. And the occupants mostly consuming booze like it was going out of fashion, in full view of the crowd, as well. Had that been an executive box, and not private property, I daresay the Met would have jumped upon the club like a dive-bomber. Not that the Law could do too much about what was happening, mind ? since when has it been a criminal offence to consume alcohol on your own property?

At first, the game bimbled along quite peacefully, with both sides making a pretty good fist of the few opportunities that presented themselves in those opening minutes. With around 14 minutes on the clock, though, this column nearly sparked out on the spot, the cause of such alarming symptoms being Zoobie and his awful clearance straight to the feet of a very surprised Orient attacker. Luckily so unprepared was their lad on receipt of this unexpected gift, the return shot wasn?t a good one at all, our errant custodian just about able to flick the ball into touch for a corner, thereby redeeming himself, if only partially so.

Yet more compelling evidence that our latest keeper?s grasp of matters isn?t quite what you?d expect it to be at our level? Oh ? and while I?m in the business of dishing out ?black marks?, what about the Sky pundit who, later in the game, said that Switzerland ? Zoobie was their keeper for the World Cup Finals ? had gone crashing out of the tournament after the conclusion of the ?league stage?, and were, in fact, one of the first sides to trudge home with tails between their legs? ?Im Indoors must have been far more alert than me, for within milliseconds of hearing that, he was on his feet and bawling ?No they bloody didn?t ? they went out in the knockout stages!? - to anyone or anything that would give him listening-space, which is why all of our four cats chose to flee the room en-masse at that particular point!

And, as if that wasn?t enough, just before the 30-minute mark, Zoobie was involved in yet another episode where an outbreak of ?careless hands? might have swung things the wrong way for we Baggies. The incident came from a corner this time; Zoobie stopped the Orient effort quite competently ? then managed to somehow spill the ball, and right in front of their forwards, too. Eek! Fortunately, Wallwork was first to the loose ball, kicking it unceremoniously away in true John Wile fashion instead. Out of sheer panic, probably. It?s at times like this I really do wonder about our keeper?s abilities in that direction. Both these mistakes could have cost us dear tonight.

In the meantime, new boy Kevin Phillips had been doing sterling service for us in trying to create some decent scoring chances. Thus far, his best efforts had gone without reward, but at least his debut had shown some promise there. You certainly couldn?t have accused the lad of being a passenger. And you couldn?t accuse young Nicholson of the same thing, either. First of all he had a tasty-looking effort blocked by the intervention of O?s defender Saah, then, just minutes later, about five minutes before the break, all of his hard work finally got its just reward. It was Chaplow that did the initial defence-splitting, his shot forcing O?s Garner into a decent enough stop. The trouble was, though, he too had ?Zoobie Syndrome? a malady which will surely test mightily even the big names of medical science given long enough! Result? The spilled effort fell right at the youthful feet of Nicholson ? who?d sneakily made a hell of a run from God knows where, with the ?Road Runner? of cartoon fame not being in the frame, even ? the ball finally sent lolloping home into the back of the net by him with minimal further ado.

An impressive first team debut goal for the lad, right enough ? but it was from that moment on that plain ordinary common sense chose to take a back seat, I?m afraid. Totally wrapped up in the considerable euphoria generated by that masterful first-time strike, the lad then elected to celebrate by heading straight for the part of the ground where his dad was watching ? then jumped over the hoardings to hug him. An act that earned him a yellow card from the referee straight away, of course. I really do despair sometimes. Yesterday evening, a player was put in hospital courtesy a Hammer Horror show of a sliding-tackle-with-head-butt-for-good-measure that would surely have earned the perpetrator a charge of grievous bodily harm from the plods had he gone and done it in a pub, or similar ? but the referee, for reasons unfathomable to either Man nor football supporter, chose to punish same with the award of exactly the same card that poor Nicholson got tonight, and for an offence that was, quite honestly, trifling stuff by comparison with the former one. Yes, I know ? there are assessors present in the stands, and referees aren?t allowed to use their common sense in such situations any more ? but surely it?s high-time such a complete and utter nonsense was given a second look by the game?s rulers, and much more mature thought patterns from officials allowed to flourish during games?

Following the break, there was drama at both ends. First off, it was Phillips who headed over the very early Albion corner, then play switched right to the other end where Orient?s Shane Tudor saw a quite respectable attempt go wide. In the 15 or so minutes after that, it would be fair to say that of the exchanges, Orient created the most of what action there was to be had, despite young Richardson nearly making another header count on one occasion, but come the 70th minute, Albion struck once more. And what a beauty it was, too.

Take a bow, Darren Carter, you normally-maligned man, you! Only his second for us, his debut strike being the magnificent effort he lashed in versus Arsenal last season, of course. It was Greening that set up tonight?s chance, though, thanks to an accurate cross that reached its intended target, by then lurking with considerable intent in the vicinity of the near-post, and shooting from a very narrow angle indeed, might I add. Darren didn?t even wait to get the ball properly onto one shooting foot or the other before letting fly. Instead - somewhat bravely considering the low opinion Albion supporters sometimes have of him ? he went for the full volley. Wow. A real ?Mayor Of Hiroshima? job, this one ? all their poor befuddled keeper could do was wonder just what the hell had happened.

Job done, you might have thought ? but The Baggies weren?t finished yet. After a Chaplow run the full length of the pitch, the final shot being deflected out for a corner, it then fell to Greening to apply the coup de grace, and in fine style, too. The move that led to the goal was a fine one-two combo in association with young Nicholson (again!), the resultant interplay simply allowing the aforementioned lank-haired player the chance to pot past the keeper from a very short range indeed. Three to the good were Albion, now, and Orient dead, dead, dead. All that remained was the seeing-out of those final minutes, during the course of which travelling Baggies could be quite easily discerned giving ?The Lord?s My Shepherd? maximum revs, along with our trademark ?Boing, Boing?.? Not to mention that staple of away supporters witnessing an emphatic victory, for once: ?Can we play you every week??

Thoughts? A pretty workmanlike victory, that, and one achieved in very stark contrast to the bumbling efforts of others in our division. Very pleasing was the form of Curtis Davis at the back; not much got away from him tonight, and, not for the first time of course, I?m left wondering whether this transfer window will mean we?ll see the last of him. As we all know by now, what the Premiership wants, the Premiership gets ? end of story.

The other pleasing aspect of tonight?s win was the sparkling form showed by both our debutant kids, with Nicholson notching up his richly-deserved first strike. At one point in that first half, I?d opined to my other half that the lad was trying a bit too hard to make a go of his chance to shine, and needed to relax considerably in order to make a decent impression. As for fellow debutant Rob McShane, he didn?t disgrace himself either. Oh ? and by the way. Does anyone else out there think he closely resembles a young Len Cantello, circa 1978? In looks, I mean, not in style of play.

Orient didn?t put up much resistance after the second went in, but they did contest the first half quite fiercely; going on what I?ve seen tonight, unless something drastic happens in the meantime ? a class player or two heading for the delights of the higher sphere, perhaps? - expect a pretty good remainder of the season, and the outcome we all want come the end of hostilities.

In the meantime, though, there?s the draw for the next round, on Saturday, at 1.30, would you believe? Hopeless for most supporters, as they?ll be travelling to their own games by then. But that?s not my main worry, right now. Yes, Albion have gone through in fine style ? but so have a certain side based not sixty miles away from Planet Albion. Can you guess who it is, yet? (That?s me doing Rolf Harris impersonations, by the way, and failing dismally, too!)

Give the prize to the lady in the bondage trousers, the one who said ?Hereford? just now! Yep, that?s right, Football League newbies Hereford United ? and should our paths and theirs cross in the next round, then it?s going to cause maximum marital disharmony at Chez Wright, just you wait and see! The problem is, of course, that my other half just happens to support both clubs. Should the unthinkable happen, then most of his subsequent actions and deeds are going to become a tad schizophrenic.

Already, he?s experiencing conflicting feelings regarding which lot he should be rooting for the most should the unthinkable come to pass. And that brings me to my big question, Baggie folkies. Does one partner?s support of a second football club totally different to that of the other ? and both factions subsequently finding themselves engaged in the midst of a sudden-death, knockout-tie - constitute valid grounds for divorce proceedings, I ask myself?

And Finally?.. With the Sky commentators coming out with an absolute classic tonight, ?Colemanballs? rules OK! One pundit?s distinctly-wobbly slant on Albion?s second half performance? ?That second-half goal took the wind completely out of their stuffing?.? Oops!

And A Dingles-orientated ?And Finally?, just for a change!?.. According to recent reports, Prince Charles still talks to his vegetables. Not that you should worry unduly, Your Royal Highness ? the Mayor Of Wolverhampton does it all the time!

 - Glynis Wright

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