The Diary

02 February 2004: What A Difference A Win Makes!

Looking at yesterday?s timely win some 24 hours after the event, one thing I should have mentioned in yesterday?s offering suddenly sprang to mind, and I?m sure you lot out there noticed it as well; what a difference that two week enforced break made to the morale of everyone connected with the club, be it officials, directors, manager, players, and, of course, supporters, big small, ?Belly?-size, young and old alike. Before, we were, all of us, a lumpen Baggie mass groaning badly under that sorely burdensome weight of expectation. Tetchy, battle ?fatigued, war-weary, even ? and it showed, both on and off the pitch.

Yesterday, pre-match, it was refreshingly different: there was a spring in the step, a certain gaiety, laughter, even, that was conspicuous by its absence a mere 14 days ago. Although I?m sure we didn?t plan it that way, a powerful gust of invigorating air blasted its way around the whole ground during the course of our collective absence, and everyone is now noticeably refreshed. What with the fearsome form of The Horse, The Blades cocking up twice in a row, and our very recent twin striker signings, I?m now feeling pretty upbeat about our forthcoming encounter with Preston, next Saturday. Quite a strange emotion to welcome on board, all of a sudden; whatever happened to good old fashioned gloom, doom, and despondency, I wonder? Or was it the gourmet orange and champagne curd I snacked upon shortly before embarking upon this literary tome? If that?s the case, it must be strong stuff indeed; what do you get for being drunk in charge of a PC, I wonder?

Someone else most certainly feeling rather upbeat right now must be Danny Dichio, who banged in yet another two for The Lions yesterday. I?m quietly pleased that the bloke?s current loan spell is going so splendidly, as he is, basically, an affable person off-duty, and deserves a little bit of happiness in his life. London must suit him to a ?T?, as he and his kin hail from those there parts, and, no doubt, he?ll know his new team-mates socially anyway. As the move seems to have been a good thing for all parties concerned, it wouldn?t surprise me at all to hear of the deal made a permanent one before too long. The thing is, Deech?s contract with us runs out come the end of the current hostilities, and as we now have ample cover up front, we?ll probably deem him surplus to requirements come the summer anyway. Makes sound business sense, therefore, to dot the I?s, cross the ?T?s, say ?bye-bye? and be done with it. One small word of caution, though, chaps: if we do happen to negotiate an extended loan with this in mind, don?t forget to insert a clause forbidding Deech to play up front for them on April 12th , the day we make that tedious journey down the M1 to East London for the return match!

Reading today?s varied match reports apart ? why was it, by the way, Hughsie only merited a ?four? from the Sunday Mirror?s scribe? ? we?ve been in super-celebratory mode this Sabbath, because - whisper it quietly, folks! ? ?Im Indoors is a year older tomorrow! Yep, it?s his birthday, and he?s FORTY FOUR!!!!!! No Hyde Park gun salutes, sadly (they?d probably run out of ammo, given the lad?s new chronological age, assuming the Army work on the same principle for their ordnance as that of placing the appropriate number of candles on a birthday cake, of course!), but what we did have was a Jolly Good Slap-Up Feed at our fave pub, the Live And let Live, and the ?Out-Laws? invited along as well. Rather good it was, too, and the mere thought of their triple chocolate mousse is making me drool even now. Incidentally, I?m sure you?ll all want to join in with me in congratulating my other half on reaching such a venerable age; only 20 years until that coveted Senior Citizens? Bus Pass plops onto the doormat, don?t forget! Feel free to email us (or, more appositely, Simon: gifts of Phyllosan for the poor old sod from my readers also most welcome, come the Preston game!) until your keyboards finally give up the ghost!

As His Ageing Lordship has taken Monday off, once he?s had his pressies, etc. we?re heading in the direction of Jodrell Bank and their Space Centre. Should be an interesting day out, really, and if I happen to discover any new planets or signs of extraterrestrial life while I?m there, I promise to let you all know before the rest of the scientific community get wind of it. Perhaps it might also be timely to ask the assorted Manchester University eggheads working there to shift that huge radio dish of theirs from the heavens, and in the general direction of Wolverhampton instead; that should finally settle the argument currently raging as to whether there?s any intelligent life-forms there, or not!

Talk of ?intelligent life forms? reminds me I promised to tell you what happened when we tried to get away from the ground following yesterday?s game, so here it is. After the final whistle, we then made the short journey to where The Dickmobile was parked, as usual. Even then, there was quite a formidable array of traffic gathering in Halfords Lane. Once there, we didn?t waste time, just got going, and joined the throng ? and that?s when the fun started, if ?fun? it was. Having set off at around five, by the time we?d crawled to the bottom of Halfords Lane (about 200 yards), it was five thirty. What didn?t help one little bit was the police van, parked near the junction in such a manner as to effectively block one lane off; while we were attempting to negotiate this obstacle, the driver then took it into his head to first of all drive against the traffic flow (Halfords Lane is effectively made one-way after the final whistle), then suddenly go into reverse gear! There was also another police vehicle parked just beyond the right hand turn at that junction, which effectively blocked one lane there also.

Despite that police presence, for all the good they were, they might have well stationed themselves in their nice warm canteen at police HQ in West Bromwich. Once more, the traffic lights were left fully-functional, but no assistance from plods on point duty whatsoever, despite the fact there were at least three bobbies standing there just watching the world go by, and another ? true, he was standing in the middle of the junction, which was a bonus of sorts - but talking to a motorist, which did no-one any good at all. The result? Once more, total gridlock, which came as no surprise to us following similarly frustrating experiences in recent weeks. Only by negotiating a series of side-streets behind Brasshouse Lane School did we finally extricate ourselves from the mess, otherwise I reckon we?d have still been sitting there come ten that night. The time we finally walked through our own front door? 5.50, which, for a house situated just two miles from The Shrine, is an absolute joke. Were my legs and back in full working order, I could have walked it in 30 minutes, dead easy.

Sure, I realise that football matches generate traffic problems unique to that aspect of policing, but think on. Last season ? our Premiership one, mind, with a packed house virtually every home game ? we were arriving home within around twenty minutes of starting back. How come? Simple: the traffic lights at that junction were inactivated, there were coppers/traffic wardens on point duty instead, ditto in Smethwick, which ensured a smooth traffic flow from start to finish. If we could do it then, what the hell?s different now, given we?re in a lower division, and with gates substantially reduced? Yesterday, there were around 23,000 at the ground, but judging from the almighty snarl-up we saw, you wouldn?t have guessed it for one moment.

The problem I?m having right now with all this is that I can envisage a time when it might be necessary to allow other emergency services rapid access to, say, the estate at the rear of the ground, or one of the many small factories in the area. The way things are, there?s a pretty good chance that the poor sod(s) waiting for that ambulance, or whatever, could quite easily snuff it/burn to death etc. long before help could reach them. Does it really have to take a tragedy before things are changed for the better? Or, as I said yesterday, being the cynical sod that I am, should some footballing big-wig, media pundit, VIP matchday guest, politician, whatever, get stuck in that little lot for any length of time, a quiet little word on the blower to the chief plod, and, miracle of miracles, there would suddenly be more police stationed on that junction post-whistle than in the entire City of Birmingham!

Now that the awful weather has abated somewhat, the collective mind of our favourite football club has now turned to unfinished business. According to my Devon Correspondent, Julian Rowe, the rearranged FA Youth Cup encounter versus Blackburn Rovers will now be taking place at Morecambe this coming Tuesday. Any Northern Baggies still wanting to run the rule over our young hopefuls, clear your diaries for that evening ? unless the forecast high winds scupper it again, of course.

Back again later in the week, probably, unless our alleged third transfer target suddenly materialises. Until then, sayonara.

And finally?. I know some sides worry a little prior to playing us, but do we really have this much effect on people? According to a recent cyber-missive from that nice young man John Dunn, just after the Watford players came out for the second half yesterday, Micah Hyde was seen to throw up twice next to the centre circle!

 - Glynis Wright

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