The Diary

29 November 2003: Forest Fragments.

I?m a little late starting my piece tonight, as I?ve been watching an excellent BBC2 ?Timewatch? programme about the First World War Gallipoli campaign tonight; no doubt my readers in Oz will understand more readily, as quite a proportion of the casualties from that action were from Down Under. Incidentally ? nothing to do with tonight?s stuff, but something I was aware of anyway ? did you know that Rupert Murdoch?s father was the person believed to be responsible for getting the British general in charge the sack because of the disastrous end to the campaign there? The name of the poor bloke who got the bum?s rush from the War Office? Sir Ian Hamilton, would you believe, and before you ask - no, he didn?t turn in circles on the parade ground when reviewing his troops!

Back to the present, then - and what?s likely to happen at the City Ground tomorrow? It goes without saying that we?re somewhat deficient on the old striker front, but today?s pre-match press conference revealed that Albion were confident Danny Dichio would be in fine fettle for tomorrow?s tryst with Forest. I?m glad we are, because I?m certainly not. Apparently, our ideal solution would be a loan striker from somewhere (anywhere?), but according to the E and S tonight, suitable candidates are pretty thin on the ground at the moment. As far as Lee Hughes is concerned, there?s no indication, as yet, as to whether he will feature in our plans tomorrow or not. I suppose, given our dire shortcomings up front at present, we might risk putting him on the bench, but I wouldn?t be in favour of that, personally. Not only would it hurt the feelings of the family who lost a father, and have relatives still badly injured as well, such a move would send out the wrong message to the public, and there?s the abuse Lee would get from the home supporters to consider. I?ve never regarded him as the sort of hard-boiled person to be totally impervious to insult; in fact, I would say that if confronted by that sort of personal abuse ? the poisonous stuff we heard at Cardiff was a ?taster? of the sort of stuff he?s likely to get flung in his ears - his game would totally go to pieces, so putting him on as a last-ditch measure (e.g. if we were chasing the game, for example) would be somewhat counterproductive, in my opinion. Again, it?s one of those moments when I?m really glad I don?t have to make that call.

Can we get anything from this game? Previously, I would have fancied our chances, but what with recent events and our current problems with fire-power ? or rather lacking someone capable of delivering it - then a draw may be the best we can hope for. Their manager, Paul Hart, is no slouch, and has done wonders with that side on a shoestring. Sure, we?ll be going to Forest with an exemplary away record ? the last time we failed to come home with a least a scrap of the bacon was that narrow but awful defeat at Wigan ? but Forest have just signed Marlon King from Gillingham for ?950,000; he?s a pretty useful lad, and will be going all-out to make a good first impression on supporters at their place. They?ve also just sent Ian McPhail back to Leeds ? he?s needed to assist them in their survival plans, apparently ? and his midfield replacement will come from either Eoin Jess or Gareth Williams.

And now, the bit you?ve all been waiting for ? my little ?history? of all things Nottingham ? and didn?t I come up with some giggle-making stuff when researching the place! There?s evidence of human settlement in them thar parts dating from 40,000 to 28,000 BC, but, as usual, it was the Romans who set the ball rolling when they built the Fosse Way, linking Leicester and Lincoln. When our friends the Anglo-Saxons colonised the area after the Romans upped and left, they established the fortified borough of Snotengham on a steep sandy outcrop. The name, believe it or not, means ? wait for it ? the ?ham? of the people of Snot! Don?t, if you know what?s good for you, remind the good burghers of this strange fact at tomorrow?s game! William The Conqueror ordered the first Nottingham Castle to be built on a rock 130 feet above the city centre. The first consisted of wooden palisades surrounded by a ditch. The second one was built by Henry II in the 13th century. In mediaeval times, Nottingham Castle was an important stronghold defending a major route to the north of England ? and, to this day, there are 400 man-made sandstone caves and tunnels under the city dating back to those times ? a mediaeval form of ?nuclear bunker? if you like.

Later on still (1796) the Nottingham Canal was opened, and connected the River Trent to Langley Mill, near Eastwood. Around the time of the Industrial Revolution, the town?s principal industries ? coal-mining, alabaster monuments and lace, of course ? began to develop. In 1811, Luddite riots led to many knitting-frames being smashed up, but come the time of Queen Victoria, she was greatly amused by the expansion of the lace industry, which began to export all over the world. The 19th century also saw the beginnings of the Player Cigarette Company in the town ? and an upsurge in business for local hospitals and undertakers, no doubt, not to mention a broad smile on the face of the Chancellor Of The Exchequer. Additionally, around that time, the Raleigh Cycle Company started up ? possibly the practical forerunner of former Conservative Employment Minister Norman Tebbit?s famous exhortation for people to ?get on their bike? to solve unemployment problems? Sorry about that, I?ll get me coat.

Famous people, then. Nottingham, home of the principal enemy (hiss, boo!) of the man in funny tights, who (allegedly ? don?t want to be sued for libel, do I?) robbed the rich to pay the poor ? or something! Also the home town of Paper Lace, the god-awful pop group who had a one-hit wonder with ?Billy, Don?t Be A Hero? back in the mid-seventies. I really can?t decide which of the two was worse! Other than that rum lot, we have the following bunch of Nottingham guys who managed to make their own mark on history. Robin and his merry men I?ve mentioned, so what about Lord Byron, the poet? Or, should books be more your bag, there?s always D.H. Lawrence, he of ? ooh, la la! ? Lady Chatterley?s Lover fame. As the daft old bat presiding over the celebrated 1960?s indecency trial said when summing-up, ?Is it a book you would want your wife or your servants to read??

We now move on to another literary gent, Alan Sillitoe, who, of course, wrote ?Saturday Night And Sunday Morning?, a gritty tale of working class life in the area, which quite scandalised folks at the time (it was turned into a very successful film), but is now a set-book in schools at public examination level! That?s the sinful side of things taken care of, then, but what about those of you who are of a more holy bent? I?ve just the bloke for you ? William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, was born in the borough. ?Why should the Devil have all the good tunes?? he said, as his exhortations set many a Sally Army band on its merry and musical, but, as they abhorred any form of alcohol whatsoever passing their lips, its very, very abstemious way. Here?s another one ? when you next venture into your local branch of a national pharmacy chain for your preferred brand of ?baby-stoppers?, thank the girl on the counter for a certain Jesse Boot. Why? Because he was the bloke who started off the chemists of that name in the city around 150 years ago, that?s why. One final thought, and one much closer to home. Nearby Eastwood was the birth place of D.H. Lawrence, of course, but we Baggies have to thank that former pit village for giving us not only former manager and professional misery Alan Buckley, but ? last, and most certainly not least of all our celebrities ? The King himself, may he rest in peace.

More deathly prose tomorrow, after the game, about the game. Until then, wherever you are, have fun.

 - Glynis Wright

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