The Diary

26 November 2003: Posh Nosh At Harriers!

Hi, y?all. Just returned from a somewhat frigid Aggborough ? that?s Kiddy Harriers ground to you, squire ? where the temperature this evening plunged to 3 Centigrade, and our reserves drew bloodlessly with Blues. It really was one of those ?goal-less bores?; genuine chances were about as rare as a sighting of Tony Blair singing The Red Flag and actually knowing the words, but on the balance of things, had those few near-misses counted, then I reckon we?d have lost 2-1. Once more, there was a solid performance from Big Dave ? it won?t be long now, surely? ? and Lloyd Dyer, but little else to get worked up about, really. There was one aspect of our new reserve team home venue to really warm the cockles of one?s heart, though, despite the frosty weather, and that was their catering. As regular readers will know, I?ve always regarded this aspect of Harriers hospitality very highly, but tonight, they really surpassed themselves. In addition to their usual stuff, which is, without exception, vastly superior to anything you?ll get on any other League ground, they were also serving roast pork and stuffing baps.

And not the ?plastic? sort of pork, either. Genuine roast oinker, fresh from the oven, sliced expertly from a huge joint, steaming before my very eyes, not to mention loads and loads of luvverly stuffing. And, when we found our seats, and I started scoffing ? a hidden bonus of crispy, crunchy crackling revealed itself as well. Black Country manna (pork in its various forms is something of a delicacy round here, aer kid!), and most certainly not the sort of foodstuff you?ll find on any other ground in the Nationwide. This, of course, promptly begs the question, ?If Kiddy can do it for reserve games where they don?t even have an involvement, then why can?t others?? It?s not rocket-science, after all; good food, steaming-hot, and well cooked and presented, will always sell ? er ? like hot cakes? Kiddy tonight have also demolished the other argument of the ?men in suits? with their sterile talk of ?cost-effectiveness? and ?portion-control? by proving you can cook on the spot a quality product for huge numbers, and sell the stuff in quantity as well. I?ve absolutely no reason to believe they don?t flog the same commodity at League games, where the gate is bigger by a factor of about ten, so ? yes, it can be done, and well, see! Franchised-out and uninterested purveyors of the usual ?camel-burgers-and-is-that-with fries-luv?? expensive matchday catering rubbish, please note.

My other half has, as usual, written an account of our on-pitch doings in his inimitable style; should you wish to see that as well, just look for the appropriate spot on this site. Oh, and for what it?s worth, we almost ended up sitting next to the elegant, lovely and talented Brian Little, late (very!) of our club and Hull City, and now plying his trade at Tranny Rovers. Given his ability to quickly reduce us both to a frothing and murderous rage when he had his hands on the Hawthorns helm, some three or four seasons ago, perhaps it was just as well that the stewards quickly pointed out those seats were ?reserved?, and shifted us elsewhere! I?m still wondering who he was watching, though. Let?s face it, he wasn?t there for the good of his health, was he? Lee Marshall, perhaps? Certainly, Lee did start the game in high style, chasing for every loose ball in creation, and tackling like it was shortly going out of fashion, but Lee Marshall normality ? a sort of uninterested torpidity ? descended upon the lad after around twenty minutes into the first half, and he was subbed before the end, so maybe he wasn?t the Chosen One after all?

Talking of things ?Lee?, I?d better update those of you reading this across the world with what?s happening to our striker of the same name. Today, Hughsie appeared before Coventry Magistrates Court, where both charges were formally put to him. As I expected, the case was adjourned and Lee bailed to appear before Coventry Crown Court on December the 5th. This means (I would think) that there will be what?s known as a ?plea and direction? hearing on that date ? it?s on Friday, and Crown Courts usually do pleas and sentencing, either then or Mondays ? which means Lee will either use his legal right to plead ?not guilty?, in which case the whole thing will be put back for trial before a jury at a date to be fixed, or he?ll put his hands up to the whole thing, plead ?guilty?, and take whatever?s coming there and then. Even then, the case may be held over for what?s called ?pre-sentencing reports?, formerly known as ?social inquiry reports?, which do what they say on the tin, and are usually compiled by the Probation Service.

As I?d thought, there were conditions to his bail, but no sureties, apparently, which I must confess does surprise me. However, according to the E and S, the conditions are that he lives at his home address and reports to Smethwick Police Station every Thursday and Sunday, he must not contact witnesses, and not go to the Queens Head pub in Meriden or the Poacher?s Retreat in Tile End, the reason for this being, presumably, that Lee was allegedly seen in both places on the night of the accident. I would have also assumed that as far as the Albion was concerned, Lee was now suspended indefinitely, but when I arrived back from Kiddy tonight, much to my surprise, there was an announcement on the official site that Lee would return to training on Thursday morning, and the manager would assess his situation on a day-to-day basis before deciding whether to play him or not. Some may not agree with me about this, but personally, I reckon being back in the routine and discipline of training once more would be about the best thing for Lee, right now. Anything?s better than just sitting at home festering, and having the tragic events playing on his mind over and over again. As for actually playing him in the first team right now, although we?re absolutely desperate for a decent striker, I do have severe doubts about that one ? the reaction of away supporters, and the press might be too much for him to bear at present ? but I?m not the one to have to make that decision, thank God.

Whatever happens, we really do have to find ourselves a striker before too many moons have passed. The problem has now been exacerbated somewhat by the report today that Scott Dobie?s injury last night was due to a trapped nerve, which has temporarily deprived his legs of all feeling in them. I can see how it happened; presumably, the cause was that sickening collision with the post. The whack must have struck a nerve in his lower back, some of which control sensation in the legs. He could get the feeling back tomorrow, or it could take longer ? I honestly don?t know. Hopefully, the problem will resolve itself within a day or so, but if it doesn?t, what then? Well, we certainly whanged a few names, likely and unlikely, around The Dickmobile last night (Darren Huckerby, Carl Cort, all the usual suspects, even, amazingly, Peter Crouch!) but there?s now a buzz going around we?re trying to scupper West Ham?s bid for Nottingham Forest?s Harewood by offering our cash-strapped almost-local rivals more than The Hammers are laying on the table. Wishful thinking or not? Who knows. I was also told today that Bobby Hope has been watching Shrewsbury Town?s Rogers recently; this was something of which we were previously aware, but considered it highly unlikely our football club would want to make a move for the guy. However, we are now desperate, and it might just be a case of ?any port in a storm? this time.

And finally?.. One As usual, Steve The Miser, plus son and heir, attended our reserve game tonight, and while we were having a half-time natter, by way of conversation, he asked me what the odds were on both Villa and Wolves plunging through the Premiership trapdoor come next May. To be honest, not being that well-acquainted with the world of betting, I have no idea whatsoever ? unless anyone out there can put me right, of course! ? but of one thing, I do know, and it?s this. If Steve Carr is currently harbouring even the remotest thought of risking an infinitesimally small amount of his hard-earned, but well-stashed loot on a wager like that, it?s got to be worth a flutter at your local ?Honest Joe?s Turf Accountants?, hasn?t it? Two.... Many thanks for all the messages of support we received after all the unpleasantries before Saturday's game versus Reading. I think I've personally replied and thanked everyone who took the trouble to write, but just in case I inadvertantly missed someone out, profuse apologies, and belated thanks.

 - Glynis Wright

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